hmm.........should i or no

Well.... one of my best friends is going to the army as an ammunition technician and ever since he told me that the other day its been on my mind alto AGAIN since last year i though about it ) and i dint no cuz now I'm thinking about it till i grad and once i grad i should have my mind made up if i should join or not, might just be a thing I'm going threw but i really wouldn't mind going for a couple years well ill write back and say what my answer will be.

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Well i am really excited for the next time i get to go to Williams lake to see every one..Ive really missed alot of my friends and the next time i go down i get to meet up with a really good friend of mine and she said if i don't meet up with her she will be very upset with me and wont ever talk to me so i think it will be an interesting weekend next time i go to Wl but for the most part this weekend will be just as fun since i get to sit on my ass and probably do nothing but i have turned a new leave and I'm gonna try and just say F&%^ it and think positive and not get down over stupid little things.

poem i found

I tried so hard, can’t you see… it took all of me.
How lovely she is to me,
But we… will never be.
AND the easiness it is to please me,
No one can see,
But I thought that you,
You were the right one for me.

And pretending that I don’t care,
So much confusion in the atmosphere,
How could I be so blind?
So blind to the smell of her hair
Lovely, so lovely are my thoughts,
But thoughts are not always the reality.

But, would it really be worth it in the end?
The goodness of my soul is vulnerable,
Vulnerable to too many uncountable, uncontrollable things

All of which may be used for one’s own good.
Too much of my time wasted,
Too much of my heart ached,
Too much bullshit

Over and over again,
Lies, regrets, and pain,
Temptation, relaxation,
And Frustration

As I run and run in circles… I stop,
I hesitate… and,
The circle keeps going,
Round and round I’m wondering when it will end?

How happy you are capable of making me,
I wish I was capable of giving the same to you,
That feeling of happiness and glory…

But why can’t you see?
JUST how much you mean to me.
Good will of people doesn’t come often,
And good will is what I wish to use.

Wonderful, but wondrous and unconditional,
Unexplainable, and most of all unlimited amount of love,
It feels like my heart dropped,
Dropped to the bottom of the ocean like an atomic bomb,
Going so fast and having so much power,
Swallowed whole like nothing else in the universe is there,
How do I fix this feeling?

Well… the simple words being spoken of,
Give yourself up to me…
Or just,
Please love me.

Do not cry I say,
But that is how I got played.
She listens to my words but not to me
Mind over matter I say,
Hopefully I will listen to myself one day…

Willing to give up so many things,
Things that you ask of me,
I would be glad to agree,
But maybe the biggest thing I need to give up,
Is the pain and suffering of you not accepting me,
Or maybe the heart warming feeling of being around you,
Is just getting to me.

hongcover/states

Well this weekend i went to Van with my MOM to see my brother and his g/f Jenn it was really good weekend VERY LONG and lots of walking around it was nuts....ended up going down to Seattle it was a really really fun weekend haven't seen Justin and Jenn for a long time since August Long weekend. all in all it was a grand weekend and i found some stuff out while i was there talking to people so it even was good too.

WEEKENDS prt2

Well the apst 2 weekedns obviesly were insanely fun, and i was very happy that i started to forget about some shti then i get home monday,and that alllllll.....changes :( evrythign comes back and kikes me squar in the nuts/heart witch really blows but oh well

last 2 weekends

Well the last 2 weekends have been so SO SO SO!!!!!fun i was in Williams lake both weekends seeing my best friend Steve. it was so fleeken fun i was Finlay starting to be happy again :) witch i will comment on in my next blog... well they were probably the funnest weekends i have ever had in a LONG LONG LONG time. i can't wait till i get to go back HOPEFULLY before Christmas but I'm not 2 sure yet but i shall see.

Halloween

Well Halloween wasn't to bad i guess walked around wit brad and a couple other people was just chillin out walken around watched the fireworks then walked over to tays and chilled there. So yeah pretty good Halloween i guess.