poem i found

I tried so hard, can’t you see… it took all of me.
How lovely she is to me,
But we… will never be.
AND the easiness it is to please me,
No one can see,
But I thought that you,
You were the right one for me.

And pretending that I don’t care,
So much confusion in the atmosphere,
How could I be so blind?
So blind to the smell of her hair
Lovely, so lovely are my thoughts,
But thoughts are not always the reality.

But, would it really be worth it in the end?
The goodness of my soul is vulnerable,
Vulnerable to too many uncountable, uncontrollable things

All of which may be used for one’s own good.
Too much of my time wasted,
Too much of my heart ached,
Too much bullshit

Over and over again,
Lies, regrets, and pain,
Temptation, relaxation,
And Frustration

As I run and run in circles… I stop,
I hesitate… and,
The circle keeps going,
Round and round I’m wondering when it will end?

How happy you are capable of making me,
I wish I was capable of giving the same to you,
That feeling of happiness and glory…

But why can’t you see?
JUST how much you mean to me.
Good will of people doesn’t come often,
And good will is what I wish to use.

Wonderful, but wondrous and unconditional,
Unexplainable, and most of all unlimited amount of love,
It feels like my heart dropped,
Dropped to the bottom of the ocean like an atomic bomb,
Going so fast and having so much power,
Swallowed whole like nothing else in the universe is there,
How do I fix this feeling?

Well… the simple words being spoken of,
Give yourself up to me…
Or just,
Please love me.

Do not cry I say,
But that is how I got played.
She listens to my words but not to me
Mind over matter I say,
Hopefully I will listen to myself one day…

Willing to give up so many things,
Things that you ask of me,
I would be glad to agree,
But maybe the biggest thing I need to give up,
Is the pain and suffering of you not accepting me,
Or maybe the heart warming feeling of being around you,
Is just getting to me.